Bridges and Journeys

Never planned to not see you near me.
I feel as though what should have been expected was unexpected.
It’s ironic and typical, but yet I’m still surprised.
You had more value to me than what you even offered to me.
I wouldn’t say you were placed on a pedestal.
You were respected on a much higher level.
Loved like you were the same blood type as me.
An equal partner in crime.
Family even.
I’m doing time alone.
I stress on the alone part.
Guess I had an expectation.
A two peas in a pod theory that was just not a reality.
Maybe I dream too much.
My mind played tricks on your importance to me.
Put you in a position where you were worth something to me.
Four in the morning and I’m circling my thoughts.
Another night of weeping for me?
I think down the line I forgot what I was crying for.
There are multiple bruises.
Is this new or am I fixated on a pain that you’ve reminded me of?
All of it is the same.
It all hurts.
There’s no scale for this pain.
Just know it hurts.
I’m trying to decide if with you does it feel worse..
A bridge has been damaged and a new journey has begun.
All without my choice or say.
Feels like I’m forced to walk this way.
You fade like the skyline on a foggy day.
I’m left to forget the days I used to sit and admire you.
I had more than just love.
I had more.
More for you.

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