I’m rolling my eyes already.
If you know me or at least used to follow me on Tumblr, then you already know how interesting my love life can be. At this point in my life I am completely and utterly single. I’m honestly not looking, but not completely uninterested in dating. I’m just not motivated to do so. I have yet to see something to catch my eye. Something worth my patience. I’m a busy woman and yes, I know that isn’t an excuse, but honestly I believe I am too busy to date right now. I am going through a chapter in my life that is not easy and the way dating is today, I do not need added pressure. I am more concerned about when my next meal will be, are the bills getting paid, and if I’m a positive influence in the community. Is there someone who’s going to help me pay my bills? Is there someone out there who’s going to come with me to volunteer in the community and come to speaking events to inspire people to be the best versions of themselves? Is there someone down for that?
I felt a need to make this post because within the past three weeks I’ve dealt with countless men, boys, or whatever you want to call them, in my direct messages, text messages, my face, email, etc. all whom have been trying to “kick it” or “come see me” and I’ve been immediately turned off. I get it. It takes courage and confidence to approach someone you are potentially interested in and therefore I am always polite and honest. I do not exist for the attention of men, but it is nice to know that the fellas love A.Classy, they want to see what’s good with shorty. Ha! In all seriousness though, the fellas don’t know how to approach me.
“I want to be your man.”
I think I’ve heard those words maybe twice and both were lies. You know what they say, “You ain’t gotta lie to kick it.” So true, but as stated before I’m not interested in kicking it, but honesty will get you further than lies. I am a firm believer in karma. The tongue is a powerful thing.
So you’ve decided that you’re interested in me for whatever reason. You think I’m beautiful, want to marry me, cuddle me, hold my hand, kiss me, and a bunch of other loving things people do during the cupcake phase. Often times I see that thought go through a guy’s mind and then they consider to approach me in person or through other methods of communication. Here’s a list of things I’ve gotten:
- I’m going to be in your city.
- When can I come see you?
- I like your photos can I take pictures of you?
- Can we talk? “Gimmie your number.”
- You got a man?
- I saw somebody that looked like you.
- Dem LEGSSSSSSSS
- You have a sweet voice. (WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL ME CLASSY)
- I’m looking for a wife.
- Let a real —– come take care of you.
The list goes on…
At times when I’m bored and wish to entertain these random introductions and conversation starters, I am always reminded of how I’m dealing with men/boys/males who do not know what they truly want and they clearly don’t know who they are dealing with. So you’re interested in me, you’ve gotten 5 minutes of my attention, what are you going to do with it? Waste it. It happens over and over again. I’m going to let you all on a little secret. Have a plan.
Have a plan.
Have a plan.
Have a plan.
You’re interested in me? Okay. What’s next? So often a guy will tell me he likes me and that’s it. They never ask me out. What’s so hard with saying hello and asking me to go see such and such movie on this date and at this time? Remember how I said I was busy earlier? It is so polite and even more attractive when a man approaches me with a plan. He may not have it down to the exact date/time, but I would appreciate the idea to already exist. I don’t have time to “talk.” I’m also a hungry girl. I stay hungry. Hi have you read Lunch with A.Classy? You’ve just learned something about me. I LOVE food. Look at that you did some research. Ask me to go eat somewhere. A busy woman has to eat at sometime during the day. If you read my blog more, you’ll know more about me. Hmmm that might get you some points. Hint hint.
I’ve always said that if a man doesn’t take the time and effort to do more than what other men are doing he does not deserve my time and effort. Are you really interested in me if you don’t take the time out to really look into me? Honey when I have a crush I know everything I can find out about him down to his favorite candy because I know one day I’m going to pop up with his favorite candy and be all cute and stuff because when you care about someone and also want them, you learn to be a little bit creative.
Separating the men from the boys eh? All of them seem like they are just making noise. Like come on. Show me what you got for a pork chop. If you don’t eat pork chops well show me what you got for a smoothie. Look at that I just gave y’all another hint. In all seriousness though, the effort you show me just to get a date with me is a glimpse of the effort I will get if we were to be in a relationship. I’m not Ne-Yo I don’t want a “lazy love.” I’m an A$AP Ferg, Put in Work, kind of babe.
Call me when you’ve got a plan because I don’t go anywhere where there’s no food and I’m getting tired of y’all approaching me with no plan and no food. How can I see you as hubby material if I can’t trust that you will feed me? How are we supposed to be in love if when I start yelling, you don’t know that the first thing you should ask me is if I’ve eaten today? Take notes and then approach me.