What’s Best For Me

I want to talk to him.
Listen to how his day went, but being close to him is far too dangerous.
My curiosity needs to stop.
I’ll cling and get comfortable.
Emotionally be involved.
Committed.
He’s hollow where I need substance.
I need to be feed, to be wanted, to be craved.
A companionship that makes me feel whole.
I can no longer settle for continuous small talk that leads to nothing.
A friendship that’s lacking and love that will never exist.
This I’m far too familiar with.
My advice has always been to leave and yet I always never just left.
Create and stick to my standards.
Expectations are important.
He’s my redemption.
Making up for all of missteps.
I know what I need to do.
My mind, my gut, and my heart all agree.
So I keep my distance and do what’s best for me.

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