Celebrate Life: My Lessons

This past Friday I was blessed to celebrate my birthday. In typical emotional Classy fashion, I took the time to reflect on my life and how I have grown into the woman I am today to see my birthday once again. I think every year I am constantly growing and I like to look back and appreciate my growth, understand my mistakes, celebrate my wins, plan to prevent losses happening again, and overall just appreciate having an opportunity to have such a beautiful gift called life. I have survived some crazy things, but with everything in life there can be a lesson you learn from a situation. Here, in no particular order, are the lessons I have learned so far in this life of mine:

People will come and go.

I am pretty sure you all have heard this a million times, but this is so important you need to have this engraved into your brain. People will come and go in your life and sometimes you have no say about this. People will leave and you will never fully know why. Some of us just grow apart, split and refuse to speak to one another, and sadly some of us will die. This is a part of life and you should never feel like your whole world is ending just because someone is no longer in your life. The world will continue and the sun will come up. It is okay to miss the people that have passed away, but for yourself and also for them you should continue living your life through their spirit. They would not want you to stop living just because they are no longer there. So continue with life and one day you all will meet again. It is natural to grow apart from people. You don’t see them much anymore, barely ever talk, and you’ve reached a point where you don’t really know who they are anymore and that is okay. People grow apart. You will find more people to meet and grow close to. Not all of us will get along and therefore there will be fights that lead to you never speaking to someone again. Make sure you aren’t holding any bitterness, that you forgive the person and yourself, and that you find peace within yourself that will help you continue with your life. People will come and go and the faster you learn this the less you’ll think your world has ended just because someone is no longer in your life.

You will make mistakes.

I hope no one is keeping track of my mistakes. Ever heard of the saying “young and dumb?” Well it is very true. I have made plenty of mistakes that have cost me friendships, relationships, money, time, family, etc. Mistakes are a part of life and you will make them. What is important is that you own up to your mistakes. Never hide from them. Own up to your mistakes and figure out if there is a way to undo what you have done or to make up for it. You also need to realize that some mistakes you are just going to have to live with, but that you can live a better life because of that mistake. You may not be able to heal or fix the situation, but you can learn how to be a better person because of it and that says more about your character than anything. You will make mistakes and it is okay. Learn from your mistakes and if you have worked hard and put it all in the past never allow someone to throw it in your face. The past is the past and if someone can’t let go of your past you need not to have them in your space. You have grown, you are not the same person you were when you made your mistake therefore never allow someone to bring you back to that person. Mistakes are a part of life.

The energy you give off is important. 

People like happy people. If you are sad and miserable no one is going to want to be bothered with you. You have a bad attitude and it makes people uncomfortable to be around you, even people that really do love you. Although you may mean well, you can be toxic for others and therefore they need to remove themselves from being around you. Your negative energy can make people miserable. You can hurt people while you’re hurting even if you didn’t mean to. This can lead to people resenting, hating, and never feeling safe around you and they rightfully are allowed to feel this way about you. If you are holding negative energy inside, you’re just a ball of anger, your depression is not under control, and you need to seek professional help if you ever want to live a life where you are content with yourself. Happy people give off good energy. You need to figure out what is making you miserable, how you can stop your own misery from ruining your whole life. The energy you give off is important and it starts with looking inside yourself to make sure you are okay.  This is nothing to be guilty about either. Don’t feel guilty for being toxic and just overall a person who gives off bad energy. Forgive yourself for hurting people you loved while hurting. Once you have healed and grown don’t hold that guilt in your heart. The right people will welcome the healthier version of you with open arms.

It’s okay to admit you need help. 

It’s okay to admit you need help. 

It’s okay to admit you need help. 

Mentally, financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. It is okay to ask for help. I know pride gets in the way often, but the strongest thing a person can do is admit to themselves that they need a little bit of help with something in their life. The first step is acknowledging that you cannot do something alone and the second is actively looking for help. Don’t push yourself so hard that you ignore your own health till you’re sitting in a emergency room being forced by doctors to take a break. Take care of yourself and ask for help when you know you need it.

You can find love in many ways. 

Take the time to fall in love with yourself, friends, and family. A relationship should not be your only source of love and joy. Platonic friendships are important. They teach you how to love and appreciate a person and how it should feel vice versa. I believe that before you ever have a serious relationship you should know how to have platonic friendships. Your lifetime partner should be your best friend and therefore you need to learn how to be a true friend to someone, but also know what a real friend looks like. The standards that you have for your friends should be the same standards you have for your partner.

Let it go. 

Reflection is great. It will help you learn and grow, but eventually you have to let it all go. In order to fully grow you have to let everything go. You have healed, learned from your mistakes, and now it is time to put it to rest. There is no need to talk about it. There is no need to check on people from your past. You should not be afraid of your past mistakes. Everything is in the past. It is called the past for a reason. Let it go. Your growth won’t ever be complete till you let it all go.

Love your life. 

Love every moment of it. Love the good, horrible, crazy, exciting parts, all of it. Smile at all of the love you have been blessed to experience, the connections with people you have or once had, all the times you have laughed, the good food you’ve gotten to eat, the hugs you have been given, the cries that have made you feel better, your success that left you jumping for joy, just love it all. Life is a blessing. Sometimes you may reach a point in your life where you feel as though maybe you shouldn’t keep on living, but just know you should because life is so much worth living. You never know the amount of joy you will experience after suffering for so long. The light will always come no matter how much you’ve stood in the dark. The light will always come. Joy will always come. Life has ups and downs. Appreciate it all. Love your life.

I am truly blessed to have lived to see another birthday. I look forward to the lessons I will learn and the many joys I will have the opportunity to feel going into the future. Happy birthday to me!