The curse of hustle and grind

You ever felt like you’ve been surviving for so long you never quite learned how to live? I have had to do impossible things to get where I am. Challenge my body is ways I probably should have never done. There were many nights I didn’t sleep to get where I am today. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but when I think about all that I have done just to make sure I kept my head above water I only feel sad. Is life really supposed to be this way? Sacrificing my physical and mental health just to survivor in a life that was a gift and a blessing. It sounds more like a curse. Do we create our own pains or are we living in a world designed to cause us pain?

I feel as though I have more questions than I do answers. I think the things I did in my life I did so I could have opportunity. Breaking out of poverty is never easy and I’m far from being completely out. Most people like me are one unexpected emergency away from losing everything they have worked for. We’re all just trying to survive in a world that if we actually made changes no one would have to experience this again. I fear not enough people with power are interested in improving the quality of life for others. I think the only care they have in this world is for themselves.

The world has fooled us into thinking of our suffering and lack of things as an opportunity to work so hard we feel gratification for gaining things we should have had to begin with. There are so many inspirational videos about working hard and pulling yourself up from the bottom no matter how many times you’ve fallen and all of it has inspired a culture of hustle and grind. As a black woman it is commonly referred to as “getting it out the mud.”

Why was any of us in the mud to begin with?

Before the age of 30 I have worked over 16 different jobs. I came for something beautiful, but in this world beauty and love doesn’t equate money and so I had to go out in this world and make some money. That hasn’t always been easy and I have found myself burnt out far too many times to count. There have been days where I have gotten on my knees and prayed to the Lord for rest. Not only do I desire rest, but I deserve it.

I think all of you deserve rest too.

Here’s your reminder to take a break. Breathe. Hit reset on everything. Have no shame in wanting a life of luxury for yourself. Life is a blessing and you should be taking time to enjoy every minute of it.