Waiting for Her Plane

It’s a bruise that seems to refuse to go away
Just when I think it’s healed
I’m quickly reminded of its existence
Vulnerability exposing its true presence
I find myself opening up
Allowing the light from outside find its way in
I’m exposed and eventually I find myself face to face with an old bruise
A horrific presence
Bad memories
Terrible insecurities
All at once I can feel the quickest sharpest pain I’ve ever experienced
Reminded of old pains
How will I ever do this?
For I am terrified beyond means
A runaway bride and I’m ready to pack my own things
For I am simply just too much
Too fast
Too everything
I should go
I need comforting that I’m safe
That this is different
I won’t be hurt like all the other times
For once I can relax and feel okay 
I need reassurance
Be able to feel it
Because I’ve taken a step and regretting every feeling
I’m ready to hide in the dark
My chest burns and I’m terrified 
Vulnerability only exposes a bruise I wish to not be touched
How I crave for love that makes me feel enough
Comfortable to stand in the light
No regrets
Something I can trust
There’s a bruise that refuses to heal
And I don’t trust myself to allow me to just feel
There’s simply too much hurt
Too much pain
I’m far too broken to ever be the same
I’ll never be open
Nothing will ever change
I’m just a runaway bride waiting for her plane

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *