Where are my TLC fans? One of my favorite songs by them that I still quote today is “What About Your Friends.” If you’re new here you can listen to the song here.
In the song they sing:
“What about your friends?
Will they stand their ground?
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends?
Are they gonna be low down?
Will they ever be around
Or will they turn their backs on you?”
Every time I hear this song I am reminded of these questions and to think about the friendships I have. Not everyone you call your friend is really your friend and I have had to learn this the hard way so many times in my life. I’ve had people whose kids I’ve taken care of betray me, people I’ve hopped on a plane for not do the same for me, people I’ve given money couldn’t buy me a meal, and so many other instances.
Searching for friends who are honest, loyal, and overall loving is hard, but once you find your people you will have your tribe for life. It takes a village to raise a child and a community to continue supporting an adult. As much as you think you can do life alone, you cannot. Be open to making friends and don’t be afraid to kick some people to the curb immediately after you realize they do not care about you nor have anything of value to add to the relationship you have with them.
Old friends seeking forgiveness
One thing that has been on my mind lately is how people who I thought were my friends, showed me their true colors, and are now seeking forgiveness from me AND another friendship from me. I’m a child of God so I do in fact believe in forgiveness, but I’m not really a second chances kind of girl. I believe that the time and chapter in life you have with someone sometimes is the only part of the story they get to be featured in.
Does that make me a bad person? A question I ask myself often. Am I a bad person for wanting to protect my peace and not get hurt by this same person ever again?
Maybe I’m “too sensitive,” but for some situations my feelings are still hurt and nothing notable has been done to get me to trust them again.
I know we aren’t built the same, but there are some people I expected to be solid for life and they let me down completely.
An “Et tu Brute,” type of hurt. I can’t look at some people the same after the falling out. I don’t wish them any ill will and I want nothing but success to come into their life.
But I also don’t want them to be part of my life ever again. Some trust and foundations you can’t ever rebuild after the way they destroyed it.
How I see our relationship now that we are no longer friends
I consider endings with people I once deeply cared about like walking down a sidewalk and you see them in a store window, you smile at them and the life they have created for themselves in their little store, and then you keep walking down the street.
You don’t ever walk into their store ever again. You can find yourself walking down that sidewalk many times passing their store, but you don’t ever walk in and sometimes you don’t even notice you walked past their store. You might not even live in the same city anymore. That’s just how life goes.
A thought comes to you about them and then you let that thought go. Continue on with your life. Some pains aren’t your responsibility to heal and some people don’t deserve second chances.
So, what about your friends? Find ones who will be around, always. Not the kind that let you down.
To the people I have loved who have hurt me
I am sorry you couldn’t be good to me when you had my love and friendship. I’m sorry that overtime you realized the value of the friendship I had to offer you when it’s too late. I’m sorry it took life experiences to get you to this realization.
I am also sorry that you don’t get to spend the next chapter of life with me, but some things happen for a reason and overtime you will understand and see it as a blessing like I do now.
The best apology to me is to live a life I would be proud to see looking through the window on the street.
May you live a life you deserve. Goodbye.
